Be still!
Princess Pink.
Such a good little boy...
That's right...
That's a good boy, Bubby...
Good boy...
Good little boy...
Toilet...?
Don't move!
Jesus can see everything.
He tells me you moved, by Christ, I'll beat you brainless!
Be still!
Bubby naughty...
Oh, Christ!
What you done?!
You... filthy little cunt!
You dirty little shit!
I'll send you to hell, just you see,
you'll go to hell, and your eyes will fall out,
and your prick will fall off, you dirty little SLIME!
You're such a good little boy...
Mummy does love her little Bubby...
You like'em, don't you, Bub...
Beautiful, ain't they?
Good little boy...
Be still!
BE STILL, YOU LITTLE CUNT!
By Christ, I'll beat you brainless!
Can't come outside,
'cause no gas-mask!
And Bubby DIE!
Now be still!
Poison!
If the poison don't get you?
Then God will.
Don't you bloody forget it.
Don't you bloody forget it!
Where Kat from?
Outside.
How come he ain't...
...no gas-mask?
Don't need it.
Don't breathe.
How don't breathe?
That... ain't breathin'.
Eat!
I know you're in there, Florence!
I'll be back!
What?
Want to go out, do you?
Want to go out to see what it's like, do you?!
Want to go outside?!
Cough, choke?!
DIE?!
I know, you're in there, Florence!
I'll be back!
Bubby a good little boy.
Mummy's little boy.
Shut up!
Don't be disgusting!
Anybody there?
Come on!
I know you're in there!
Go away!
Florence? Open up or I'll bust the door down!
I know it's you!
I've seen you come and go!
That's funny... That's funny...!
All these years and I didn't know I had a son!
Not so funny.
Christ, Florence! You've got to see the funny side of things!
I've been waiting for you 35 years here to come back.
Yes... well...
I meant to come back sooner, didn't I?
Just...
Well, just I didn't get round to it before.
I'm here now, ain't I?
Yes...
Yes, you are...
You're here now.
God...
Thirty-five years... Gone quick!
You still look good, Flo.
You always were a good-looking broad!
You always were the charmer...
Yep.
Charmed a few girls in my time.
And yet I never knowed I had a son!
Good, healthy-looking specimen, too.
You done well, Flo.
Hey, son!
You can call me Pop!
I'm your Pop!
Pop.
He's gettin' the idea.
Pop.
Pop-pop-pop...
Pop.
- Pop-pop-pop-pop... - Yeah, yeah...
Alright, don't go making a big thing of it.
Listen, Flo.
I know I should have been back sooner and I'm sorry and all that.
But do you reckon, you know...
You and me...
You know...
Will you still have me, Flo?
I don't know.
You bein' a man of God now...
Oh, that...
Did a bit of preaching part-time, nothing in it.
How about it, then?
Make an honest women of you!
Don't know if I can trust you, Harold.
Hey, what's up, son? You got a mental condition or something?
If you and me are gonna learn to live together...
...we gotta have some respect!
Comprendez?
I think he comprends.
How about some refreshment, love?
Sorry, Harold.
Hey, son!
Me and your mother would like to have a bit of a talk.
How about going outside?
Bubby ain't used to going outside.
By himself...
Son, you ain't a poofter, are you?
I don't want any son of mine growing up to be a... homosexual.
I'd disown him first.
You got to try to understand...
Me and Bubby...
We been here... hm... by ourselves a long time.
But he ain't like other kids.
He was such a difficult birth.
All alone in here, no one to help you...
I didn't think I'd pull through.
So you gotta try to understand.
As long as he ain't a poofter.
Oh, no. No, he ain't.
Dry old conversation, Flo!
Pardon?
Dry old conversation!
Oh, sorry!
We don't get very many visitors!
Hm, would a sherry do?
Any port in the storm...!
Any port in the storm...
I can see right down your dress, Flo.
God, you've got great tits!
They were big before,
but now they're great big whoppers of things!
You're just being nice!
No, seriously, Flo.
They're the sort of tits a man can really lose himself in.
Bury his face and forget about the troubles of-
What troubles, Harold?
What troubles can a man forget?
Let go, Bubby, let go!
Jesus...! He's mad!
The fucking bastard!
Harold! Harold, it's...
- He was trying to kill me! - He was not! - You mad, you bastard!
He didn't mean you any harm,
he was just trying to see whether you breathed or not.
What?!
It's not his fault, he's got some strange ideas.
You can't blame the kid.
He can't help it. He never had a father.
Nearly killed the only one he's got.
Christ, kid! You're a weirdo!
Weirdo.
Christ, kid. You're a weirdo.
Christ, kid.
You're a weirdo!
You've got lovely skin, Flo.
Soft, and sexy.
You're a sexy woman.
You make it hard
for a red-blooded man to keep his hands off you.
You have lovely hands, Harold.
Be a pity not to be using them.
What's that you've found, then?
Don't know.
Don't know what this could be.
It's me dress that's what you've found.
Yeah...
But what's this, under the dress?
You have already had your look at it.
Is it...?
Is it?
You'll have to wait and see!
Gates of Paradise...
One of the seven wonders of the world!
Do you really think so?
Yes.
It's not too big?
It's perfection, Flo.
Oh, that's lovely...
Hey, you see...?
Oh yeah, do that again...
Oh, that's nice...
HEY! Get the fuck out of here!
You pervert!
Give your mother some privacy!
Go back to bed, Bubby!
Why the hell you call him Bubby?
Bubby's a stupid name!
I was waiting for you to get back.
But it suits him.
Yeah, a stupid name for a stupid kid!
You're a sexy woman, Flo.
What the fuck...?
The kid's completely crackers!
You're a weirdo!
Oh, Jesus Christ...
You're a sexy woman, Flo.
Am I?
Thank you.
God, you've got great tits!
Great, big whoppers of things!
One of the seven wonders of the world, Flo!
It's perfection.
Oh, Bubby...
My little boy.
Gates of Paradise...
He's attacking me, Harold!
Jesus Christ!
Fuck me!
Get the fuck out of here!
YOU MAD BASTARD!
You mad bastard!
You fucking cunt! You get the bastard out of here!
- You got lovely skin, Flo. - YOU SEXUAL PERVERT!
- You're a weirdo! - GET THAT CUNT OUT OF HERE!
GET OUT...!
Leave Bubby alone!
YOU DIRTY FUCKING SHIT!
GET OUT!
Get the fuck out of here!
Oh, doormat. Excuse me.
The fucking kid's trying to be me again!
SHUT THE FUCK UP, KID!
You useless shit, you perverted bastard...!
You're good for nothing!
Nothing... except messing things up... isn't he, Flo?!
Messed the place up good and proper, didn't you, you little cunt!
You useless cunt!
- Why don't you piss off?! - Leave Bubby alone!
Leave Bubby alone!
You stupid useless kid,
you should've been left to die!
What did you say?!
He should've been, the kid should've been left to die!
Oh, you bastard, I kept him alive for you!
Wasn't worth the trouble you fat cow!
You be still...
YOU BE STILL!
You be still...
Now... you be still, Pop.
Mum...
You be still, too.
You're a sexy woman, Flo.
Get off the road, you fucking greenie bastard!
Get a look at the bastard, will you!
You fucking poofter bastard!
Nooo...!
No...!
Put money in it, bastard!
He snatched my bloody handbag!
Bloody bastard!
Yeah...
See you.
Bloody bastard...
We'll sit in the back!
We sit in the back!
Is it the usual?
- Shall we have the usual? - Yeah.
Okay, hm, two specials, no pineapple!
Alright, beautiful, thanks very much. Alright.
Lick! Your tongue!
Yeah! Now lick me here!
Here, dummy!
Oh, Christ, that prickles!
Do you like singing?
Do you like that?
When I want to feel close to my special friend, Jesus...
I sing him a very special song...
Do you want to hear it?
It's my good friend Jesus's favourite song.
Did you like it?
You're a dag!
Christ, kid! You're a weirdo!
Yeah, that's what you are!
A weird kid!
Nothing but a big... weird... kid...
Hey! Piss off out the way, mate, I gotta cut this tree down!
Hey!
You fucking deaf?
You're a queer looking rooster, aren't you?
What're you, fucking one of them greenies?
Hey! Come on, fuck off, or I'll cut your prick off!
You fucking idiot! Go on, get out of it...
Come on!
Little...!
Come on, let's just get out of here.
You'll just come with me, sir!
You don't want any trouble now, do you?
Come on! This way!
Yes, mate! Can I help you?
Err, printshop...
Get, get, get...!!
You try that again, mate, and I'll call the cops!
Two of those wonderfully fattening chocolate eclairs, please, Sam!
Here we are! Thanks.
Thank you, sweetie!
Yes!
Two of those wonderfully fattening chocolate eclairs, please, Sam!
Two dollars! Thanks!
Thank you, sweetie!
Er, no, that'll be two dollars, thanks, buddy!
Two of those wonderfully fattening chocolate eclairs, please, Sam!
Thank you, sweetie!
I think we'd better find out where you belong.
To take you back there.
Come on!
Yes.
I still look alright, don't I?
Get off the fucking road, you fucking greenie bastard!
I don't like fucking smart cunts!
I saw what that fucking pig did to you...
Beer?
There's some down here.
I've gotta stop drinking. I've gotta get my life in order.
Who wants it?
Bubby wants it!
Bubby!
Rip the scab off that one, mate!
We need more beer!
Let's give him a taste of what's to come!
Sure, a bit of rock'n'roll!
One! Two! One-two-three!
#If you see Kay!
#Can you tell her I'm leaving? #Can you tell her I'm losing my mind?
#If you see Kay!
#Can you tell her I'm leaving #If you'd say until she says okay
#I've got to hear you say okay
#I've got to make her take away
#I can't figure it out any other way!
#F. U. C. K!
#Can you tell her I'll leave her? #Can you tell her I'm losing my mind?
How's it, roadie?
I would never drive, mate!
Hey, Bubby!
Can you give us a hand, mate?
Bubby is the apprentice roadie.
That's good, Bubby.
Bubby is the apprentice roadie.
Yeah, just don't drop the fucking speaker, okay?
Just don't drop the fucking speaker, okay?
Oh, fuck!
Jesus!
Alright?
Is this where the band supposed to be?
Yeah.
Alright... Hm... What time are you starting?
About an hour and half ago, but nobody's turned up yet.
Want to come in? We'll play!
I... don't think so.
I was hoping there'd be some girls.
No girls, mate, only music.
Thanks anyway!
Who was that?
I don't know. A neighbour complaining about all the racket we were making.
Ah, very fucking funny, mate.
He was a customer.
Where did he go?
How the fuck would I know? Down the road to see another band!
And you just let him walk out!
What the fuck was I supposed to do? Force him?
How the fuck we're going to pay for the hall,
if you let all the people walk out without paying!
Jesus fucking Christ!
Is that the lot?
- I've nothing. - I've nothing.
What about you, hold-out? Is that it?
Try the other pocket, mate, we saw you tried that one before.
Nothing!
Never anything.
How about you?
Got any money?
Sure...
Search him.
Money! Do you have any money?
You greedy little cunt!
I ain't got enough money to keep buying you milk!
So take that, mate!
Shut up!
Well, if that's all there is...
...we're stuffed.
Yeah! We're stuffed.
- Christ! - Hilarious...
No money, no girls... It's enough to make you puke!
And where's that fucking smell coming from?!
Your fucking feet!
Fuck that fucking smell! What about the fucking money?
Hurry up, Bubby! We're in the middle of a crisis!
- Settle! - It's okay, mate.
CLINGWRAP KILLER
- That be Mum! - What?
That be Pop!
Them be Mum and Pop!
What?
Is that your mother?
Bubby Mum!
And your father?
- What do you reckon... - Oh, Jesus Christ!
Ah, wouldn't be him!
Big shit!
It wouldn't!
- I don't know... - It says there's a reward!
Fifty thousand bucks!
Take a look at this!
- What is this... - Aah, shit!
- Christ! - Fuck!
That be Kat!
No, it was a cat.
Jesus...
- Eer... - It is him!
- It has to be! - Fifty grand!
Oh, fuck...
Alright, he's harmless!
- Tell that to the cat. - He can stay in your bed tonight.
Jesus, Bubby, take that cat outside, will you?
Just take it outside for a while.
Don't go too far, okay?
Okay.
Bring us back some money or something!
Okay!
Five, six, seven, eight, nine...
Jesus fucking Christ!
Get that fucking thing out of here, you mad bastard! What...?
I don't like fucking smart cunts!
Well...
If that's all there is...
...we're stuffed.
Ah, fucking racket!
Yeah, they're probably after him.
Oh, shit.
- What're we gonna do now? - We're gonna go to jail!
I can feel it! We're going to go to jail!
- Bullshit! - Shut up!
Look! Look...!
Let's just put these on.
More trouble that he's worth.
You just take care of that money.
It's alright, Bubby.
#Tell you a story #that's sad but true
#Tell you a story #about you know who
#A boy called Bubby
#sitting right over there
#Bad Boy Bubby #with the wild, crazy hair...
Bad Boy Bubby...
#Oh, yeah!
Bad boy...
#Bad Boy Bubby #Bad Boy Bubby Blues
#Got them? Bad Boy Bubby #Bad Boy Bubby Blues...
#Bad Boy Bubby Blues #from my head right to my shoes...
#Well, we met him #when we were touring in '53
#Well, that's not true #but it rhymes with Bubby
#Bad Boy Bubby
#Bad Boy Bubby Blues...
He's a classic, isn't he?
You don't own a cat, do you, Dan?
We're going to leave you with Dan, Bubby. Okay?
See you, Bubby!
And don't be a bad boy!
#Bad Boy Bubby... #Bad Boy Bubby Blues...
Hey! Hey!
Why don't you go and talk to her, if she's so interesting?
You're a sexy woman, Flo.
God, you've got great tits.
Great, big whoppers of things.
You're a very cruel person, do you know that?
Just because you're rich, and you're handsome, you...
...you think it's okay to make fun of people like me?
Well, it's not funny!
It's just hurtful!